Bravo, Dr. Phil for bringing attention to the extremely challenging Adult ADHD relationship.  Bravo for bringing Dr. Ned Hallowell in as a guest.  Dr. Hallowell is one of my favorite people among experts in the field of ADHD.  He’s not only brilliant; his approach is positive, hopeful and realistic.  Dr. Hallowell shared about a ½ dozen things that can move a couple from “running on square wheels to running on round wheels”.

What I hope listeners heard more than anything is in the initial steps of intervention.   “A solid evaluation is critical.  You need to go see a professional, who has experience with Adult ADD.  That’s not always easy to find.”  The most important part of his statement, with regards to finding a professional, came next and bears repeating here:

He said, “A lot of the work is just searching for such a person.  But when you do find such a person then the treatment can be dramatically effective.”

Most of what stands in the way of the kind of treatment that can be dramatically effective is not in the treatment itself. It’s in not taking the time to find a medical professional that is qualified to treat Adult ADHD.  Take the time you need to find a professional who has experience with Adult ADHD. It may not be easy.  And, in doing so you have gone a long way toward achieving the success, as you define it, you and your spouse deserve.

Here is a list of Dr. Hallowell’s recommendations for the most effective management of Adult ADHD.

•    Find a professional who has experience with Adult ADHD.
•    Come up with a proper treatment plan.
•    Get educated
•    Be consistent with medication management
•    Include a regular exercise plan
•    Hire a coach so you can get your spouse out of the parenting role.
•    Follow a regular sleep schedule (include weekends)
•    Stop blaming each other – make your spouse you best ally
•    Make sure you manage you nutrition.

Finally,
•    Break the pattern of struggle that developed between you and your spouse.

The only thing I’d add is to be consistent with any intervention you choose to manage your ADHD.

If you didn’t get a chance to see this show, or your DVR didn’t record properly, find someone who did record it.  The content is worth the effort.  But, the changes that occurred for the couples from discouraged and disheartened to truly seeing great hope, were priceless.