Making & Keeping Commitments: Weight Loss and ADHD
Saturday, I was pulling on my black “skinny” jeans, and they weren’t so skinny anymore. I did get them pulled up and buttoned. And, being the second week in January and that I didn’t have that trouble through December, I was irked. I’m still down 50 lbs from my weight in 2001. And, I’d been working on the next 10 lbs. The problem is that I kinda forgot how I did it. I say kinda cause I still have the tool I used and I still know how to use it. I put the tool together in a free e-book for successfully keeping commitments. The thing is that what I’d developed from that tool was power. And I want it back!
The crux of the tool is in making six strong statements. Those six statements include three things I’ll say, “No!” to so that I can say, “Yes!” to three other things. Getting clear about what you need to give up and getting clear about what it is you really want is powerful. Commitment to my six statements is what enabled me to achieve my goal. From January through December 31, I lost 50lbs; ten of those were lost between Thanksgiving and Christmas! It’s also how I kept it off. I want those statements.
Paying attention this past weekend, I saw how my tool had whittled down. I’ve held on to one of my “Yes!” statements. I can’t remember two others or two “No!” statements. And, the one I do, is the consistency of toothpicks. The “Yes!” I remember was to have breakfast every morning. It consists of my own iced mocha latte, protein concoction. Not hard to stick with, that one is still quite solid. The, “No!” statement, I recall was, “I will not eat anything without thinking.” That one is probably more like sawdust. Here’s what it looks like now:
This morning I woke up at 4:00 a.m. I let the girls out. Instead of keeping the routine I usually take, heading to the bathroom myself, I passively gave myself wait time there in the kitchen by the back door. I hardly waited for gremlin to entice me, before making two soft, white bread and butter sandwiches. I had no conversation with myself before I stuffed them in my mouth. No thinking was involved, no ask, and definitely no decision or rather, no thoughtful decision. “Yes, I want to eat two soft, white-bread and butter sandwiches.” I honestly can’t think of the other four statements.
Obviously the original tool packed a punch. And I want it back. So, I’m going to do a little research through some writing I’ve done where I may have kept some notes. And either I’ll resurrect it or I’ll print the e-book out myself and do the steps again. There is no way I’m letting my skinny jeans make a wrinkle mark at my waist. And, I’m ready to see ahead a few months to finding a new pair of “skinny” jeans.
Celebrating My Sister – My Hero in my ADHD Journey
Fourteen years ago, I sat cross-legged on the floor of my living room in a small apartment in Albuquerque. I held the phone to my ear, my sister, Cindy, on the other end. Two passionate women, a lot alike, our relationship could go hot or cold. With my recent marriage, we had more in common and were forging a new connection.
We shared a lot about relationship challenges, the good and the not so. That day, the focus was mine more than hers. I’d been married a year and didn’t understand why things were so hard. My husband and the weekend were a few days away. I shared how hard it was to talk with him. If we spoke different languages it wouldn’t have been easier. He just didn’t get me or . . .
She was abrupt when she stopped me. Not the interrupt we both did and were use to. She just stopped me mid-sentence. “Do you think what made things hard could be ADHD?
I sucked air with indignation. I had kids in and out of my office I’d diagnosed with ADHD. With keen clinical skills, I told her she was nuts! Taking a breath herself, she reflected on the similarities between my stories and the experiences she and her husband had been challenged with. They’d both been diagnosed and for nearly a year treated for ADHD. She spoke gently, atypical then for either of us. My heart began to open. With her assertion, they were doing better, I began to listen.
Cindy was an incredible support. She took time to walk with me through a lot of the challenges. The greatest blessing of this journey to date was the beginning, shared with her. She had not just knowledge and understanding. She got me. She was me. By that I mean she was bright and frustrated. And, she wouldn’t quit even when she wanted to. I’m grateful to know many women like that, now. And, today, I’m grateful she was the first, at a time when I had no idea what to look for.
So, on this day, January 14th, I celebrate my sister. And, I celebrate the brilliance that comes through experience, sharing, support and love. Thank you Cindy.
Wishing you a Happy New Year.
