The task seemed simple

Assist a patient with concerns about his insurance coverage. When he comes to my office next time, he’d bring his papers and we’d figure out what he needed done. Dialysis was every other day. So, big deal. And, it was. Patients started Dialysis between 4:30 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. Their treatments ranged from 3.5 to 5.25 hours. I wasn’t sure if he finished at 9:00 a.m. or 10:00 a.m. Arriving typically about 8:45 a.m., I’d need to make an adjustment. A complication was I’d used the hours allocated to my discipline.

A patient I wanted to see would be in any time after 5:00 p.m. until around 10:00 p.m. And I’d assured him I’d be in to answer some financial concerns he had. As long as I was dressed professionally, it didn’t matter how early I got there. It was strange for me though, because until now, I didn’t believe I was very highly functioning this early in the day. And, I’d used the hours allocated to my discipline. And, before I was aware of that.

Contemplation

As I sipped my protein shake I looked at the time. I thought of the advantage of arriving early around 7:00 a.m. or 7:30 a.m. It’s a time when the clinic settles down. Patients were set up to Dialyze. Nursing staff and techs take a breather. And the peace should last until about 8:30 a.m. when the second shift arrives. It should be plenty of time to cover what I needed to.

Resentments, anger and doing things we’d rather not

Before I went to bed, I spent time thinking about potential resentments. Going in to work on my own time, getting up early to put on a suit and heels – unnecessary for working at home. Or not following through as I’d said I would. The requirements of the job, patient needs, and personal values come in at different angles. Up early I had the leisure to see clearly that I had found the place where they intersect. Challenging, some times more than others, and, the sweet spot, the place of choice. It’s a place time and grace can help find.

The gift and grace of time

Time can also allow our thoughts, ideas to move around a bit. Like spinning a globe to see a new view of the world. And this morning what came into view in my world was my patient would be in tomorrow, not today. And clear that I was in choice, a bit of a grin moved across my face. I left word I’d be in Friday to answer Mr. P’s questions. I finished my shake while I changed into my jeans. And I shifted gears into entrepreneurial mode as smooth as I shift from 2nd to 3rd gear in my jeep.

The crux of the tool is in making six strong statements. Those six statements include three things I’ll say, “No!” to so that I can say, “Yes!” to three other things. Getting clear about what you need to give up and getting clear about what it is you really want is powerful. Commitment to my six statements is what enabled me to achieve my goal. From January through December 31, I lost 50lbs; ten of those were lost between Thanksgiving and Christmas! It’s also how I kept it off. I want those statements.

Paying attention this past weekend, I saw how my tool had whittled down. I’ve held on to one of my “Yes!” statements. I can’t remember two others or two “No!” statements. And, the one I do, is the consistency of toothpicks. The “Yes!” I remember was to have breakfast every morning. It consists of my own iced mocha latte, protein concoction. Not hard to stick with, that one is still quite solid. The, “No!” statement, I recall was, “I will not eat anything without thinking.” That one is probably more like sawdust. Here’s what it looks like now:

This morning I woke up at 4:00 a.m. I let the girls out. Instead of keeping the routine I usually take, heading to the bathroom myself, I passively gave myself wait time there in the kitchen by the back door. I hardly waited for gremlin to entice me, before making two soft, white bread and butter sandwiches. I had no conversation with myself before I stuffed them in my mouth. No thinking was involved, no ask, and definitely no decision or rather, no thoughtful decision. “Yes, I want to eat two soft, white-bread and butter sandwiches.” I honestly can’t think of the other four statements.

Obviously the original tool packed a punch. And I want it back. So, I’m going to do a little research through some writing I’ve done where I may have kept some notes. And either I’ll resurrect it or I’ll print the e-book out myself and do the steps again. There is no way I’m letting my skinny jeans make a wrinkle mark at my waist. And, I’m ready to see ahead a few months to finding a new pair of “skinny” jeans.

We shared a lot about relationship challenges, the good and the not so. That day, the focus was mine more than hers. I’d been married a year and didn’t understand why things were so hard. My husband and the weekend were a few days away. I shared how hard it was to talk with him. If we spoke different languages it wouldn’t have been easier. He just didn’t get me or . . .

She was abrupt when she stopped me. Not the interrupt we both did and were use to. She just stopped me mid-sentence. “Do you think what made things hard could be ADHD?

I sucked air with indignation. I had kids in and out of my office I’d diagnosed with ADHD. With keen clinical skills, I told her she was nuts! Taking a breath herself, she reflected on the similarities between my stories and the experiences she and her husband had been challenged with. They’d both been diagnosed and for nearly a year treated for ADHD. She spoke gently, atypical then for either of us. My heart began to open. With her assertion, they were doing better, I began to listen.

Cindy was an incredible support. She took time to walk with me through a lot of the challenges. The greatest blessing of this journey to date was the beginning, shared with her. She had not just knowledge and understanding. She got me. She was me. By that I mean she was bright and frustrated. And, she wouldn’t quit even when she wanted to. I’m grateful to know many women like that, now. And, today, I’m grateful she was the first, at a time when I had no idea what to look for.

So, on this day, January 14th, I celebrate my sister. And, I celebrate the brilliance that comes through experience, sharing, support and love. Thank you Cindy.

Wishing you a Happy New Year.

So, before I get critical of this brief post. I’m going to publish it and know that the coal is warming up again. Good idea too, cause the weather’s getting a bit cool lately!

What I hope listeners heard more than anything is in the initial steps of intervention.   “A solid evaluation is critical.  You need to go see a professional, who has experience with Adult ADD.  That’s not always easy to find.”  The most important part of his statement, with regards to finding a professional, came next and bears repeating here:

He said, “A lot of the work is just searching for such a person.  But when you do find such a person then the treatment can be dramatically effective.”

Most of what stands in the way of the kind of treatment that can be dramatically effective is not in the treatment itself. It’s in not taking the time to find a medical professional that is qualified to treat Adult ADHD.  Take the time you need to find a professional who has experience with Adult ADHD. It may not be easy.  And, in doing so you have gone a long way toward achieving the success, as you define it, you and your spouse deserve.

Here is a list of Dr. Hallowell’s recommendations for the most effective management of Adult ADHD.

•    Find a professional who has experience with Adult ADHD.
•    Come up with a proper treatment plan.
•    Get educated
•    Be consistent with medication management
•    Include a regular exercise plan
•    Hire a coach so you can get your spouse out of the parenting role.
•    Follow a regular sleep schedule (include weekends)
•    Stop blaming each other – make your spouse you best ally
•    Make sure you manage you nutrition.

Finally,
•    Break the pattern of struggle that developed between you and your spouse.

The only thing I’d add is to be consistent with any intervention you choose to manage your ADHD.

If you didn’t get a chance to see this show, or your DVR didn’t record properly, find someone who did record it.  The content is worth the effort.  But, the changes that occurred for the couples from discouraged and disheartened to truly seeing great hope, were priceless.

Summer Nights Concert Series

Perfect for ADHD Women

If you haven’t found this gem already, or if you haven’t gone and want a bit of a nudge, here you go.  As if having fun isn’t reason enough, enjoy music, yoga and women just like you while building on at least six ADHD strengths.  WTF?

Women with high sensitivity and ADHD have very cool learning styles. Your brain wiring gives you strengths in learning through music, nature, smell, taste, touch and motion.  You also have strengths in learning experientially and inter-personally.  So,  by joining me, and other like-minded women you’ll have a great time and you’ll strengthen at least six of your ADHD gifts!  Yes, ma’mm.

This Thursday is the first night of the series.  We’ll hear   Sweet Sunny South playing great bluegrass.    And, for the first time since the series began,  we can start the night off with yoga led by the playful, and generous spirit Metaji of Yoga Now.

I’m curious what it will be like to strengthen my inner connection before getting out to the festival lawn.  An interesting idea, don’t you think?

Join me and others in our CLAN.  Yes, clan not tribe.  We’ll be meeting back at the Japanese Garden.  Don’t worry if you can’t make at 6.  We’ll be connecting to our own playful spirits for about 45 minutes or so.  After that, if you’ve told me you’re coming you’ll get inside information on how to catch up with us.  Connect to me here before the event.

All the information you need about the event is covered below.  Where, when and what as well as how to get your tickets are included.

I’m available by phone or email.  Don’t be shy.  If you need more info call me.  And do call to let us know you’re coming.  We’ll keep an eye out for you!  This event you really want to be included in.

If you aren’t in the Albuquerque or surrounding area and you’d like to do something like this, let me know.  There are opportunities to create gatherings of this kind all over the country, all over the world really.  Know one you’d like to share?  Put your idea in the comment section below.  We’ll do whatever we can to make it happen.  Let’s see how many amazing women we can bring together.  I can’t wait to meet you!

Music, nature and connection are not only fun, they do wonders toward putting ADHD over the edge.  No worries.  Over the edge, for me (Thank you Randy Jackson hehe) is stepping into your self.  Getting into your body.  Owning it.  Getting in for the ride.  It takes trust and risk, which you can ease into  while you’re having fun and with great company too!

It may have been some time since you experienced it, trust is inherent in the spirit of ADHD.  The naivete – natural or artless simplicity – may be a faint memory.  It may be in hiding.  Without care the spirit is crushed.  As ADHDVenturous Women we are soooo capable of taking good care.  And being an ADHDVenturous Woman is simple.  You can simply try it on.  Whenever you like.  Or with the rest of us!  What better way then with women just like you, under the stars experiencing amazing music?

Definitely more fun!

For details on joining this fabulous group of women call this Number. ADHDVentures can get tickets @ 1/2 price.  That’s $7.50 instead of $15 only until Friday afternoon.  Very Cool!  If you can’t reach us before then, don’t fret.  From Friday evening until the concert begins you can still learn how to join us by calling the number on this page.

Don’t miss this truly life altering experience.

We can’t wait to meet you!

DH and I were sitting in our living room this afternoon playing the recording of last night’s American Idol.  We were having a spirited discussion about the performances and arguing for our favorites.  Mine were Kris Allen and Danny Gokey.

My choices were a surprise to me.  Over the past weeks, I’ve been a fan, and still am of both Allison Iraheta and Adam Lambert.  I even lost half a day searching Adam Lambert video, and I wasn’t the only one, when his performance got cut off the DVR.  What does this have to do with ADHD?

I know that when something moves me as much as the young people on this show have moved me there’s something of value to check out.  So, I took some time this afternoon to listen to earlier performances of Kris and Danny.  I even replayed pieces of performances, particular phrasing and riffs.  I listened to a couple of the mentors and I even spent some time listening to some comments of the judges.  And, I was reminded once again, of the value of standing fully in each moment, stepping fully into one.

These contestants are all, if I can be so bold, equally great.  What sets them apart is whether or not as Danny Gokey said at the start of the results show tonight, whether or not they bring it.  Are your bringing it?  Do you know how to bring it?  Tell us what you do.  And, I’m looking forward to sharing more on stepping fully into you.

Building your business online?  Feeling overwhelmed with marketing or some other challenge?  So many possibilities it’s easy to get lost in the excitement.  Yet, you have a business, and you need to sell something.  And, sooner is probably better than later.

Consistently I hear the same story I’ve heard all my life.  Take one thing at a time.  Drive it in a straight line and you’ll get their sooner.  Sorry, that’s not me.  I’d end up driving straight in to a tree!

I do believe there is a great option to contorting yourself down the straight line. There is a richness we bring when we stray off path, when we notice the “shinies” all around us.  And, there are a lot of marketing gurus out there with some pretty cool “shinies”.  It is so seductive thinking about all the beautiful, fun ways to generate buzz about your product.  And, if you listen to the hype you’ll think you have to put blinders on and plod straight or you’ll never get to market.

So, before you take just one direction know that one of your gifts is to see the big picture.  The brain you’ve got is always taking a variety of things and combining them in a way that makes sense, a way you can see clearly.  To take advantage of all the interesting ideas and prevent overwhelm at the same time, take all the pieces you like from the gurus you’ve been drawn to and create your marketing big picture.

Here’s how you do that.

1. Take all the systems, strategies and ideas for marketing and gather them up under a single unifying label.  I’ve got a marketing coach.  So, everything I do is going to connect to the work I’m doing with her.
2. Next, create no more than 7 groups to divide your stuff into.  Four or five would be better.  I could choose the gurus I like as a way to divide things up.  But, what makes more sense to me is to create groups that represent the exciting ideas they’ve opened up for me, and the activities I’ve chosen to take action on.
3. If you have more than 5 or 6 things to place in each of those groups take your groups down again and again until you’ve got 6 or fewer things in every group.

That’s the way I see my marketing picture.

I know an image would help a lot here.  So, imagine this.  You’ve got a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle.  What do you do?  Start with the outside edge.  Get a context, a unifying tool to start with.  To find where the pieces fit together group the pieces that are most similar together.  And, put them within the border where you think they most likely fit.

In coming up with a big picture idea of marketing, I don’t feel so overwhelmed.  And, I see the work to be done in steps.  Yes, I’ll admit it.  But, the steps are now a much clearer.  They’re in my language.  And, I can switch it up a bit – to keep things interesting – with a lot less chance of getting lost.

I love the break from work, thinking, too hard.  Whatever you do to break from work can teach you so much.  The 50/50 rule – first decide how much time you want to spend doing an activity you want to avoid before you stop and spend the same time playing.  Then find work and play are both part of WORK, your mission, your passion. Linear time and activity is so different from creative time.  Creatives, oooh I love that so much, more than ADDers and all the rest.  (Relax, it’s just a mindset.)  Play is actually a lot of the work of children.  Play is unfettered. Clear and Free.  WORK lives in play.

I’ve “graduated” from my 50/50 rule.  Sort of.  It’s just that what use to be work, when I let it, transcends and becomes play – like now.  Writing to you, swaying to Al Jarreau.  “I’ll get by.”  And just now, my little girl puppy, Sasha says it’s time to come in.  So in she comes.

When faith and trust fade, look to your playing.  Al sings, “You don’t want to see me.” Hmmm, when WORK becomes work, do you see yourself?  When it seems too hard, it might be.  Trust.  Let what’s easy be easy.

If you don’t know me, you may think, how obscure.  Know me and what I say may still seem obscure.  If you’re meant to be here something will tug at you. Stick around. I’d love to be part of you getting it, defining it, or joining me to share it.  Stick around, or come back.  I’ll tell you what helped me put this in words.  (It might help you.)  And, please do show up.  Share your spirit in words.  However you speak them is right.  Well, except if it’s not.  L)